If you are a restless explorer like me, someone who seeks experiences, interactions, and deep connections that make you feel alive, then you have likely been the new kid on the block a time or two.
My recent intention to shift from lurker to sharer online has me feeling all types of new - new to engaging, sharing, writing, questioning, and connecting. It’s exciting and nerve-wracking and scary and lonely and confusing and magical and all types of fun so far.
With a shift away from the sidelines and into the sharer-sphere, there are a few points I plan to use as anchors that you might find helpful too.
Since we are all new at points in our lives as we take on new hobbies, professions, skills, relationships, philosophies, etc. it can be daunting to enter a space where you see people with more experience, competence, connection, and confidence in the arena you are entering. Remember, there are also a ton of benefits to being the rookie…
1. Low to No Expectations
Nobody expects you to be an expert - you shouldn’t either.
Being new means you inherently aren’t expected to be doing what the experts are doing or performing at more than an amateur level. It certainly helps to identify a few people who are further along in their journey to serve as waypoints or role models, but as a newbie give yourself permission to make mistakes - it’s expected and what is actually at stake if you do not get it right the first time? Making mistakes means you are taking risks and creating opportunities to learn and grow.
For me, I spent a lot of time on the sidelines as a lurker thinking “there are so many people who are WAY better writers sharing WAY better ideas in a WAY better way than me.” Of course! They have more reps and have given themselves more chances to learn from their experience and actually, who cares? I’m not trying to be better than other writers; I’m trying to be a better contributor than I was as a lurker. As author and coach Brad Stulberg puts it, “do not focus on being the best; focus on being the best at getting better.”
2. High Energy and Enthusiasm
You know that “first day” feeling? I have that giddy excitement as I write this post.
If you are diving into a new experience or trying something new, it ought to be something you are eager to take on and excited to spend your time doing. There is much to be said about finding things that give you energy and make you feel alive.
While doubts about results can find their way into taking on new ventures, it’s the excitement and enthusiasm that comes with exploring that make being a rookie so. much. fun. That’s currently how I am feeling about writing and sharing more online.
I never ever thought I would be the person tweeting, “Sometimes it just feels good to hit send as a signal of participation” — and there are probably some underlying dopamine related connections to technology embedded in that action to be written about some other time — but the point is, it’s refreshing and recharging knowing there are a ton of new things to be learned, connections to be made, and avenues to explore when taking on something new.
3. A Full Tank of Curiosity
There is a certain joy found in curiosity.
The newbie inevitably has a lot of questions and the comforting thing is there is usually an unspoken permission to ask them. This is the time when there should be low to no fear in asking questions, exploring curiosities, experimenting with how you do the thing you’re doing, and asking more questions as you uncover more answers.
For me, questions and curiosities are usually an indicator I’m leaning into something that gives me more energy and enthusiasm to keep asking questions - a sign I’m doing something fulfilling and worthwhile.
4. Others Are Eager to Help
The number one reason people don’t get guidance or advice? They don’t ask.
I’ll never forget when I first reached out to the heads of a big financial literacy nonprofit asking for some career and life advice thanks to a mutual connection. He happily took time out of his day to answer my questions and point me in the right direction. He even put me in touch with a few others who helped provide some guidance. Knowing how in demand his time and attention were, I told him I wasn’t sure how to thank him for the help he so willingly provided. He genuinely replied “Hey, no need to thank me. I am always eager to help those who ask so long as they have a purpose for reaching out in a way they think I can actually help.”
From my experience, people like helping people, with a special affinity to helping those who are new.
At worst, reaching out to others for help comes with no reply, leaving you in the same position as you were before asking.
As a newbie in this space, I’m already blown away by the generosity and willingness of others to share their insights and experiences. It’s contagious. Shoutout to
and specifically for sharing their relatable stories and giving invitations to others to share. It's people like them who inspired enough confidence in me to actually make it happen and I already have the itch to pay it forward.I see this as an exercise full of limitless upside with minimal downside and a core reason for starting to contribute - connecting with others at various parts of their journey to help each other flourish.
5. Uhhh - you tell me?
Like I said, I am a rookie in this writing and sharing world, so I don’t know what I don’t know.
What are other benefits of being new? What was it like when you got started? What are your reasons for lurking instead of sharing?
This was so good. As someone who is in the exact same spot—recently starting to write and tweet and generally contribute—I felt both seen and inspired by this.
This hit different: “For me, I spent a lot of time on the sidelines as a lurker thinking “there are so many people who are WAY better writers sharing WAY better ideas in a WAY better way than me.” Of course! They have more reps and have given themselves more chances to learn from their experience and actually, who cares?”
Keep it up. You’ve got a new fan.
Great essay and reflections on starting out!
Love this -> "I’m not trying to be better than other writers; I’m trying to be a better contributor than I was as a lurker." When I started, I shifted from worrying about being as great as everyone else and just being happy that I was entering the arena.